Wednesday 25 April 2012

A THOROUGHLY ENGLISH HOODLUM - Available as PDF

My first novel (of sorts) is available to buy at the moment. Although I don’t know how to sort it out as a file suitable for Kindle or other e-book readers – So it’s a standard PDF. A bit Heath Robinson I know, but it’s the best I can do for the time being.
A THOROGHLY ENGLISH HOODLUM is about a young lad (me in fact) growing up in the 1980s’ as a Teddy Boy. The few people that have read appear to have enjoyed it.
I think it is humorous all the way through, so I’m hoping it will make the readers smile., and it should evoke memories of your youth, regardless of what scene you were part of in the 80’s.
I am selling it for 65p, although I am accepting any donations for a copy, as all the money raised up until the end of MAY 2012 are being donated to OCD-UK, which helps people suffering with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. So if you can make a higher contribution, then that is more than acceptable. I’m not keeping any of the money for this period – But do hope that if it sells after May, then maybe I can earn enough to buy a Kindle and enjoy other independent writers works.

Here is a link to OCD-UK so that you can see what they do. Please message me for full details.

Tuesday 17 April 2012

The opening chapters for Broken Bones & Gravel Rash?

From the dawn of time, Man has wanted to fly. He watches the birds, and envies their effortless ascent into the skies, from the tiny sparrows and tits flitting about in the garden, to the majestic birds of prey, hovering around in huge circles, with barely a movement of the wings. The idea of being able to dominate and conquer the air above him, as he has dominated the ground on which he walks ,and the waters in which he swims has consumed man with a passion.

Man has strived to mimic the birds, and quickly realized that just strapping on a pair of wings just wasn’t going to do the job. Icarus proved that one. The problem is that to take to the skies man needs a lot of material and machinery around him, such as an aircraft, and that takes away some of the feeling of freedom that the birds must enjoy. Even to fall slow enough to enjoy the sensation, man needs a parachute, and has little control of his movements. Yet still, he yearns for that feeling of flight.

It therefore seems incredible, that once mans ultimate dream of unhindered flight has been achieved, he suddenly yearns not to be in flight, but to be back on the motorcycle from which he was launched prior to this experience.

Don’t get me wrong that feeling of flight is still fantastic, but launched from a motorcycle traveling at high speed suddenly stopping thanks to an oblivious car driver, the enjoyment of the flight is marred by the realization that the landing is likely to be uncontrolled and painful. For anybody that has not been involved in a life threatening accident, I don’t know if the warping of time is something you would have encountered. You may not believe this if you have not experienced it first hand.

Wednesday 4 April 2012

Richard Bacon, Noel Edmonds, Samantha Brick vs The Trolls

Another twist to the case of Richard Bacon versus the internet trolls appears to be looming as I write this piece. I am talking of course about the current trend to ridiculing Samantha Brick, and her ill advised comments about being too pretty. We all know that this led to a deluge of witty comments from well known comics and fellow journalists. Nothing wrong with that, it's just a bit of humourous banter isn't it? After all, it's what they do. It's what they are paid to do, so why would it be wrong to share a little free humourous musings with their twitter followers? They are, after all, on a celebrity level with the subject of their humour, so it is just like peer banter, the same as you or I taking the mickey out of our mates in the pub.

But what happens when the uneducated masses start jumping on the band wagon with their own humourous musings. Perhaps these comprehensive school educated buffoons don't have the same armoury of words that the university boys and priviliged few from public school had, and their wit may be somewhat rougher round the edges. At what point does the wit of the professionals descend into cyber bullying and trolling? Is it when the tend has become so rife that the subject, or shall we now refer to her as the victim becomes upset or even properly depressed by the amount of ridiculing comments? Is it when somebody creates a Samantha Brick profile and starts tweeting more "I'm so pretty" comments to fuel the trend, which incidentally appears to have already happened? Or is it when some lunatic takes things too far and humourously offers to take away her prettiness, as this is obviously what she wants, which suddenly drains all the funny out of the matter, plunging it into the darker, more sinister realms which Richard Bacon and Noel Edmonds, amongst others are trying to combat.